


the world around you is ending

by tozierflowers



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Modern Day, i love them, pennywise never happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 08:16:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15859767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tozierflowers/pseuds/tozierflowers
Summary: richie’s world is ending, again





	the world around you is ending

It was cold. Everything felt cold yet Richie didn’t know why it felt cold. Wrapped in Bev’s blanket, the world seemed to be falling apart outside of that bedroom. The feeling of losing a family, again, made him want to crawl out of his skin and stop existing and leave everyone alone. If I could stop existing, no one would be unhappy, was something he thought every single night. Richie had stopped existing for his mother and father a long time ago. And he didn’t bother them anymore. He lived in and out of Bev and Bill’s houses every single week. But ever since the fight, Bev was the only one welcoming enough towards him to let him hog the blankets and cry himself to sleep at 6am every day.

He didn’t even know what had actually happened at this point. His perfect little family was gone, again. Bill had been his best friend since the first grade and they had shared everything ever since. Except secrets. Bill never trusted Richie with his secrets even though Richie would jump in front of a train if Bill asked him to. Richie had met Bev under the bleachers in the sixth grade, smoking a pack of cigarettes. He didn’t even know what she was doing, he just thought she seemed really fucking cool. Richie met Eddie in the sixth too. He remembered seeing him run around the auditorium trying to find his backpack and trying to not burst out laughing because of it. He loved Eddie in a way he couldn’t explain. More than the way he loved Bev. Bill had introduced him to Stan in the fifth grade. Stanley Uris, the only person in the group who wouldn’t put up with his bullshit every day. Richie loved Stan like you’d love a weird cousin that talks about birds every other sentence. Bev introduced him to Mike and Ben. They were both just pretty casual dudes when he first met them. He was wrong. Ben had this obsession with true crime that was borderline offensive at a point and Mike lived on a farm. They were all so lame and weird. But they were His lame and weird friends. They were his family.

Bev walked into her bedroom and tossed a bag of chips at him, “You’ve gotta eat, Tozier. I don’t know if this is some lame hunger strike but I refuse to let you starve under my roof”, she sounded like a mom but Richie loved her even more, right then and there. He grabbed the bag of chips and opened it in a really harsh way that made Bev stumble back. He looked her in the eye and said, “I’m sorry. Thank you. For the chips. For not just leaving me. I’m an asshole and none of you deserve to have to put up with me”. Bev sat down next to him and leaned her her against his shoulder. They’d known each other for five years now yet Richie was still amazed at how genuine of a person she was every single day. Bev turned to look at him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, “Look. We all messed up. It’s not like they’re all ignoring just you. No ones talking to me and Eddie. You’re not alone”. He wished he could find comfort in that but he only found more guilt. It was his fault. It was all his fault.

September was a shitty month. A fight with Bill somehow involved the rest of them and managed to break them up in just a day. With Bill and Ben questioning Richie and Bev’s relationship, and Stan just taking Bills side for no reason. Eddie stuck in the middle of it with Bev by his side. They got mad at him because he kissed Bev. He kissed Bev but he wasn’t dating her. He’d kissed Bev many times before. Just not around the others before. Ben and Bill both being head over heels for Bev since the seventh grade were extremely overprotective with her. Even though she didn’t need them. But they knew that. He knew that. Stan was just a piece of shit to Richie and contradicted everything he ever said in that argument. And it all also hurt Eddie too. Sweet Eddie. Eddie who Richie had had a thing with since the ninth grade. Eddie who had been kissed by Richie by surprise after just one afternoon together. Eddie who Richie loved with all of this heart. Its all my fault.

Now fast forward to a month later, and Richie still felt abandoned by all of them. Even by Bev. He knew she still hung out with them. He knew Bill still called her every day. He knew Ben still gave her notes every day. He knew she was lying to make him feel better. Eddie had left him a week earlier. Told him he didn’t want to see him again until he figured shit out. “It’s gonna have to be me or Bev, Rich. You cant have both. And you certainly can’t go around kissing the both of us and not expect for me to get mad”. Those words still left a stinging sensation in his chest every time he remembered.


End file.
